What comes to your mind when you think about fear? Maybe it is creepy crawly creatures, the darkness of the night, or even a combination of the two. But what about the deeper things we worry about? The fears that keep us awake at night. You can’t deny it, because I think that everyone has something that worries them. Some fears are short term and seem like such trifles in the aftermath, and there are others that seem to follow us around.
Despite the fact that I really am afraid of spiders and could tell you some funny stories, this prompt asks us to go a little deeper than that. So I ask myself what am I really afraid of. I don’t come up with anything groundbreaking: I am afraid of something going wrong with my car and not having the money to fix it; I am afraid that I will get fired and not be able to find another job; I am afraid I will let people down; I am afraid that I will never be become the best version of myself. I could go on with the little worries that cross my mind every day, but honestly, what’s the point?
There are always going to be things that scare you or that you worry are going to happen, but what is the point of worrying? It won’t change anything. We have enough to worry about today, never mind worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. I read a quote this morning on Facebook, and it was just what I needed after the day I had yesterday. I don’t know who said it, but here it is: “Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life.” So, if you can stop dwelling on yesterdays then that is one less thing you have to worry about. As far as for the future, I think all you can do is take each bump as it comes. If you can take what needs to be done today and do it to the best of your ability, then that is the best you can do. If today’s best wasn’t good enough, you can wake up tomorrow and try again.
Though fears aren’t fun when you are dealing with them, there can often be a lesson or something gained when you have come out on the other side. With each car trouble that I have had, I have learned something else about cars that I didn’t know. The thought of losing my job in this economy has made me push myself harder than I have ever had to before. This has shown me that I am capable of more than I thought. As for becoming the best version of myself, I think many of us had a picture in our heads of what our lives were going to look like when we grew up. Mine: 25, married, successful job, house, kids, and have it “together”. Well, when I turned 25 and none of that had happened it was an awakening. Those weren’t necessarily things that I really wanted, but for some reason that is what I thought was the “right” thing. When we compare ourselves to others we make it harder for ourselves and we have enough stresses that we don’t need to add more. I think that it is important to just be yourself, try your best to improve, and take one day at a time.
One of the goals of this writing challenge is to just write – not over think. That was very hard to do because I had so many things running through my head for this topic. I guess that is another fear that I have – that I won’t be any good at writing. But I have decided that in 2015 I will see if I can become a more confident writer and figure out if I actually really love writing or just the idea of loving to write. Anyway, I could continue on, but I am reaching 700 words and the clock is telling me I need to get this posted soon.